Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Know your own shortcomings...

...before you start ragging on other people.

It's been a long time since I traveled, and the security check point at the airport was a little overwhelming for my small brain.  This is all probably public knowledge, but you now have to basically unpack for them to check your bags for explosives and whatnot (although, lighters are allowed in your carry on - because, you know, we didn't learn anything from the shoe bomber). 

The yoga sweatshirt that I was wearing over my dress caused everyone to be up in arms, and I was asked to step aside, for what turned out to be a very inappropriate frisking. 

It's a good thing I wear underpants, because the young man who frisked me went all the way up there.  Twice.  I'm also glad that I shaved my legs.  Although I was felt up, I was more upset that said young man called me "ma'am."  That word should be outlawed.

The other humbling moment came when I entered my hotel room for the first time.  This is a green hotel and there are some quirks which triggered a blond moment for me.  As soon as you enter the room, you are supposed to place your key card in this little holder which turns on the lights in your room.  I place my key card in the slot, then removed it and stood in wonder when the lights stayed on for only 30 seconds.  I did this about 40 times over the course of an hour and started to get really pissed off.  Do you know how hard it is to clean up after taking a dump in the dark?!  I eventually figured out that if you keep your damn key in the slot, the lights will stay on. 

Not surprising, I was not the only conference-goer who had this issue.  I'm fairly certain that at least 87% of the people sitting in the conference room had skid marks and an itchy butthole. 

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